Jealousy is often called the green eyed monster. We witness jealousy almost everywhere; it’s not just confined to politics and Hollywood. It is occasionally seen among family members and even among Christians. It is a very strong emotion that has the power to blind us from reality and can enslave us for the rest of our lives if we ignore it. According to Kathy Labriola a professional counselor “Jealousy is about fear – an unknown fear of losing power or control in a relationship, fear of loss and fear of abandonment. It is often caused by our own insecurity about our worthiness, from our own anxiety of whether we are adequate and from our own doubts of our desirability”
In many ways both envy and jealousy are very similar; however there is a subtle difference among these cousins. Envy is the frustrated longing or a covetous greed for something possessed by another, Jealousy on the other hand is a much deeper feeling of injustice or unfairness. While envy focuses on getting what the other person has, jealousy would be happy to see the other person lose the extra blessing. Envy focuses on what I do not have, whereas jealousy focuses on what I wish others did not have. Bottom line: Envy says “I wish I have or possess….” whereas jealousy says “I wish he or she did not have or possess…”.
Envy focuses on what I do not have, whereas jealousy focuses on what I wish others did not have.
In the Bible we read on several occasions that our God is a jealous God. The word Jealous has both good and bad connotations. When the Bible says that our God is jealous it means that he will not tolerate when people rob or try to rob what rightfully belongs to Him and Him alone. On the other hand people are jealous because of their false imagination of who they are and what they deserve. For most people jealousy is not a rational proposition, it’s an emotion that often stems from one’s sense of unfairness in comparison to someone else’s success or prosperity.
In one sense anyone who is jealous is a loser, because he or she lost the most important thing in life: the right perspective of self, others and God.
The Catholic Encyclopedia defines Jealousy as “a sorrow which one entertains at another’s well-being because of a view that one’s own excellence is in consequence lessened. Its distinctive malice comes from the opposition it implies to the supreme virtue of charity. The law of love constrains us to rejoice rather than to be distressed at the good fortune of our neighbor.” The greatest test for each of us is how we react or respond when we see someone prosper. Love rejoices with our friends because of God’s goodness in their lives, but jealousy crushes our spirit because we feel like a loser. Yes, in one sense anyone who is jealous is a loser, because he or she lost the most important thing in life: the right perspective of self, others and God. It is a tragedy that very few people can really enjoy and celebrate your success without grumbling or hurting deep within.
One of the dangers of Jealousy is that it is very subtle and we will not be able to recognize our own jealous feelings till it becomes a big problem. Jealous people see a normal situation and fear or suspect that something harmful has happened to them because of the other person’s success and unfortunately they continue to dwell in the imaginary potential harm the rest of their lives. I know of psychologists who offer possible solutions for this problem, but nothing will work as well as a fresh new perspective from God. From my personal experience the only exercise that constantly helped me to overcome the problem of jealousy is to reflect on God’s goodness and grace in my own life. I strongly believe and preach that life is not a race, it is a journey. Since it is not a race, any blessing to anybody is ultimately a blessing to all of us in the body of Christ.
The Bible is full of great examples of human jealousy and its destructive power. It started with Cain who was jealous of his brother Abel because his offering was accepted by the Lord, Cain ended up killing his own brother. Joseph’s brothers were jealous of him because their father loved him more than anybody else; they plotted to kill him and ended up selling him. When King Saul heard the women giving greater tribute to David than to him, he was filled with jealousy and he took an army of 3000 select troops to capture David and kill him. It was jealousy of the Pharisees and the religious leaders that led Paul and the other apostles to prison. It was jealousy that played an important role in Christ’s crucifixion. Do not under estimate the power of jealousy; it is one of the Seven Deadly Sins. Remember the Bible says “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy? (Prov 27:4). Notice God himself is pointing out that jealousy is worse than anger and in almost all the examples I have mentioned above jealousy went beyond being a personal emotion, it forced the individual to extreme reactions. Let’s guard our hearts and get rid of this emotion before it makes you a monster.
Do not under estimate the power of jealousy; it is one of the Seven Deadly Sins.
– – Author: Rev. Francis Burgula – –
